5 Christmas Songs I Hate:

In honor of a brief cameo appearance that I’ll be making on Combat Radio soon, I thought I’d whip together a short post summarizing what I think are the “5 worst Christmas songs”. I’ll also be running an analogous “5 best” piece in the next few weeks.

I’ve included YouTube links to these auspicious tunes because I shouldn’t be the only one to suffer. Here they are in no particular order. 

 

5 Christmas Songs I Hate:

Jingle Bells by: Bing Crosby & The Andrews Sisters: The only reason I have “The Bing” on here at all is due to his jazzed-up cover of this Christmas staple. The Andrews Sisters are especially good at getting on my nerves. I’d like to think that even the people who love Christmas to the point of leaving their decorations up all year round get sick of hearing Jingle Bells in any of its forms by the time December 26 rolls around. 

The Christmas Shoes by: NewSong: Believe it or not, I’d actually managed to avoid ever hearing this one at all until it was brought to my attention by a large number of Twitter followers. The Christian-ballad, which also inspired a made for TV film, tells the brief story of a poor kid trying to buy shoes for his terminally ill mother on Christmas Eve. While the sentiment is clearly in the right place, the sappy lyrics not only cross the line but, make the listener want to throw up on it. To paraphrase one follower “Sorry your mom is dead but, Merry Christmas anyway.”

The Chipmunk Song by: Alvin & the Chipmunks: Every single year we get reminded that all Alvin wants is a damn hula-hoop. As a testament to the longevity of the characters, they still manage to get dragged out of their little hiding places about once every generation and presented as a new idea. Call me a Scrooge if you must but, I think that the helium induced ditty has gotten enough air-play and should be retired.

I also think it would be funny if “Dave” finally caught up with the little buggers and just once, the song ended with the sound of 3 rodent traps going off.

“ALVIN!!” (Clack! Clack! Clack!)  

Last Christmas by: Wham! This one is getting added to the list pretty much for the same reason you’d add any Wham song to a worst list. For the record (no pun intended), it’s also going on here against the expressed wishes of my wife who happens to be a big George Michael fan.

Christmas Conga by: Cyndi Lauper: In a word, this is just “unplayable” and part of me would like to interview the record producer that thought this was a good idea.

(… Everybody!)

“Bonga! Bonga! Bonga! Do the Christmas Conga!”

Shameless Promo: Combat Radio’s Breakfast with Santa

On December 8, Ethan Dettenmaier and his buddies at Combat Radio will be running a breakfast event to benefit under-privileged kids for the second year in a row. They do this voluntarily and are reaching out to the indie community for additional support. Even if you don’t live in the L.A. area, please contribute if you can or share the following link through your own social media channels: Donate to Breakfast with Santa.