What I've Learned From My Cat: By guest: Casey Sheridan

I asked Casey if he would like to do a Casey Crossover to help me in my month long celebration of National Feral Cat Day (I'm donating my book royalties for the month) – it's officially on the 16th of Oct, and I was so excited (and relieved) that he said yes. And the best part is he told me about the MIRA Foundation.The MIRA Foundation trains and provides guide dogs, or service dogs, for the blind and those with other disabilities. I encourage you to check them out http://www.mira.ca/en/about-us-/3/mission_43.html 

On to my post……What I've Learned From My Cat

Paper Towels – I've learned to never, ever leave a roll of paper toweling out in the open. There have been numerous mornings when I have entered the kitchen to find the ENTIRE ROLL was used to "re-carpet" the kitchen floor. WTH?!?

Then there are the times I have witnessed the "tiger" leap to the counter and knock the unsuspecting roll of toweling to the floor only to pounce on it, tackle it, and proceed to rip it to shreds (Ugh! The mess!). What this poor roll of paper towels did to deserve such a violent death, I'll never know. I probably wouldn't understand anyway. It's a cat thing.

Boxes – Every box in the house belongs to the cat. No matter how big or small, no matter what it's made of, the box belongs to the cat, even if it doesn't.

You may have to be a cat owner to understand this saying from a cat, "If I fits, I sits". This is true. Even if the cat doesn't fit – he fits. I've had some narrow, skinny shoe boxes and inevitably the fattest cat in the house makes himself fit. Hence, the permanently disfiguring of said box with bulging sides.

For those of you not in the know – this box ownership thing also extends to every drawer with clothing and every shelf in every closet. Basically, everything in the house belongs to the cats. Including me. I'm allowed to leave on a regular basis to procure more shit for the cats to own.

Cat Fur – No matter how many lint rollers I own, no matter their strength, I will always be covered in cat fur. I've learned to deal. You should too.

Privacy – Privacy? People assume that because I don't have creatures called children that I must have an abundance of privacy and, therefore, have no idea what it's like to be hounded by creatures.

Not. True.

Cats, like children, are attuned to every sound and every move. I go the bathroom – BOOM! The cat is right there (just like the children creatures – or so I've heard), sitting in front of me, and purring as loud as ever. He then walks around to the side of the toilet, poking my hip with his paw as if to say, "What are you doing? I hear water running in there. I want to see."

No, Cecil. That's just me peeing.

Unconditional Love – My cats love me. I know many people think cats and dogs aren't capable, but I think those people are full of shit (Damn. I got sweary again. Bloody ell). They may not feel it the same way we do, and they may not express it in the same way either, but it's there, in their hearts and in their language.

My cats love me now matter what I look like, what I weigh, what clothes I wear, no matter my mood, or the mistakes I've made in the past, present, and future. It doesn't matter what my opinion is on any subject, or if I say something hurtful, or stupid, they always forgive me. They love me. Unconditionally.

This has taught me to love the few people I do love, unconditionally, whether they are near or far away, because you never know when they won't be around anymore and because this world is filled with so much anger it's always nice to know someone out there loves you.

We mere humans are always so afraid of expressing softer feelings to those we care about whether from past bad experiences, because we don't want to look foolish, or because we're unsure if the other person feels the same. My cats have taught me that it's better to say "I love you" then not, that it's better to hug someone you love than not, and to tell someone you love that they mean a lot to you then to not say it at all. It's okay if they don't reciprocate. Maybe they don't know how. It's more important that you tell them, then not tell them. With that being said – Casey, you're my second favorite Casey in the whole wide world (I'm the first), and I'm so glad we've "met" (thanks to Eden). I love working with you, you're a lot of fun and a great guy. If we lived closer to each other, I'd hug you. For real.

Anyway…

I love my cats unconditionally. No matter how many of my earrings they lose, or how many pens and pencils they shove under the refrigerator, or how much kitty litter they spread all over the hallway floor. And no matter how many times they fucked up my writing of this post by walking across my keyboard (Damn it, Cecil)! I love them. Unconditionally

=^. .^=

***

My Casey Crossover post is part of my #NationalFeralCatDay celebration. I would like to encourage you to learn about feral cats, outdoor cats, how to care for them, and find out about all the many ways you can help by visiting Alley Cat Allies website at www.alleycat.org

If you'd like to take part in the festivities of National Feral Cat Day in your community (U.S. and International) this 16 October, visit www.nationalferalcatday.org

Also, when you purchase any of my books during the month of October (the 1st through 31st, 2015) I will donate all the royalties to Alley Cat Allies. Let's help kitties live happy, healthy lives. You can find my books here: http://bit.ly/AmznProfile

Thank you for stopping by to read my post! I hope you enjoyed it. I had fun trying to write it. No thanks to Cecil.

Thank you, Casey, for letting me take over your blog today. I hope you had enough Benadryl to handle all the cat fur around here.

Remember everyone, to adopt, don't shop, for your next pet – visit your local shelter and give some lucky dog or cat (or whatever) their forever home.

xoxo,

Casey S

Bio

Like most authors, Casey Sheridan began writing when she was very young. It was later in life when she read her first piece of erotica and it was on a dare that she wrote her first erotic story.

Casey enjoys writing erotic, fun, and romantic fiction with unique storylines.

An introvert and lover of chocolate, Casey is happiest when writing. She enjoys listening to music, watching movies, and reading. She loves animals and volunteers to care for local feral/outdoor kitty pals.

Add your name to Casey's mailing list to be kept up to date on her latest news and releases: http://eepurl.com/bacS9D

Find her on the Web at:

Website: http://www.Casey-Sheridan.com

Blog: http://CaseSheridan.wordpress.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/CaseySheridanAuthor

Twitter: http://twitter.com/CaseSheridan

Amazon: http://bit.ly/AmznProfile

Smashwords: http://bit.ly/SmwrdsProfile

Pieces of Advice to Live By:

I haven’t written anything in a while and knew that a blog post was long past due. My show’s biggest supporters nudged me in the direction of one of my rant pieces but, I quickly found myself stuck for ideas. After putting out a call for topics on my social media channels, my ever-helpful and entertaining author buddy Casey Sheridan suggested that I draft something on advice I’d received over the years.

I quickly started brainstorming and found myself laughing and reflecting on the many sound-bites that I’d collected from some of my favorite people. I’ve settled on three here but, can easily see this as a work in progress.

At this point, I’ll issue my tongue-in-cheek Viewer Discretion Advisory. What you’re about to read had an impact on me but, I ain’t saying it’ll resonate with everybody.

“Life is too short to work for people that you hate.”
Bruce Alexander – family friend and career salesman.

As I prepared to enter the workforce fresh out of college and without a scrap of solid office experience to my name, Bruce was the one person who was willing to take a chance on me. I never worked for him but, he did act as a reference for me on many occasions and during his visits to see my parents would occasionally pull me aside for little power-coaching sessions. The quote above was always my favorite.

Many of us spend as much (if not more) time during the week with our colleagues at work than we do with our own families. I've worked with a large number of sales teams – each of which had their own flavor and some were much more pleasant than others. If you get to a space mentally where you dread going to work in the morning, it’s time to pack up shop and find something else.

“I’m not going to worry about a bunch of fucking oranges.”
Garth Ryan – my dear old dad.

Callous as this may sound on the surface, it was a much needed lesson in perspective that I never forgot. He didn’t yell at me but, said it calmly from a heartfelt place.

At 15, I was selling oranges and grapefruit as part of a school campaign to raise money for our band’s trip to Europe. Even then I was a budding salesman and I really wanted to go on that trip. The only problem was that I buggered up the placement of the order and despite having collected a bunch of money, only ended up getting about half of the inventory I needed.

I freaked out appropriately as my imagination ran wild visualizing the punishments I was going to face. That same week, one of my father’s dearest friends – someone he’d come to think of as a second father himself – passed away. As I muddled my way through my business crisis, my father looked at me sincerely and said “Oh yeah? Somebody I love is lying in a pine box. I’m not going to worry about a bunch of fucking oranges.”

Needless to say, the crisis was averted and my customers got their fruit. I walked away with a sobering message about getting my priorities in order. Whenever something trivial bugs me, I remind myself that it’s just a bunch of oranges.

“Always keep your theater tickets in the same pocket.”
Mordecai Richler – legendary Canadian author

It was May of 2000 – yes that’s right – 15 years ago. I was seated at center ice in what was then known as the Molson Center for my graduation ceremony. I’m not ashamed to admit that my college experience was far from positive albeit that is the subject for another, much darker, blog post.

As a result of this, I had no interest in going to the ceremony but, my parents talked me into it and I’m glad that they did. Receiving an honorary doctorate this year was the great Canadian bard himself. He took to the podium and in his extremely dry-witted style, waxed nostalgic about the irony of McGill University bestowing this honor on him as he was denied admittance as a young man. At the time, the university had quotas for Jewish students but, he held no grudge because he knew his grades were such that he wouldn’t have been accepted even “as a mere gentile”.

At the end of his address, he said that he was going to dispense the advice that our class had somehow been waiting for. There was an awkward pause as he rolled his eyes and looked out at us over his glasses. A fan of Richler’s, I fought the urge to burst out laughing as I imagined his mindset. Then he delivered the line before walking off stage without another word. It was about entertainment, no less.

In that instant, somehow the last 4 years had been worth it. 

Casey Crossover: Let's Talk Words: By: Guest Writer, Casey Sheridan

Editor’s Note:

I’ve said many times that some of the most fun that I’ve ever had doing both the show and blog were the handful of opportunities that I’ve had to work with erotica writer and blogger Casey Sheridan. In addition to being a great storyteller, she also has a sharp sense of humor and knows her pop-culture.

She took a leave of absence recently but is now making a bit of a comeback and her friends and fans (including myself) couldn't be happier.

Today, we proudly present our latest “Casey Crossover” where we publish guest posts on each other’s blogs. The topic this time is words that make us laugh. After you’re done reading the post below, feel free to hop over to Casey’s blog to see what I had to say.

Casey, once again the floor is yours…

CJR

Let's Talk Words
By: Casey Sheridan

I have to admit, this was the hardest blog post I've ever had to write, mainly because I was laughing so much I couldn't see my computer screen.

When I first started to blog, one of my regular posts was called Funny Words and Phrases. It involved using some strange (and obviously funny) euphemisms for all the various womanly and manly "bits" along with the many things done to, and with, them. Of course, I'd use these odd terms in humorous sentences.

This is not one of those posts. No, no. You will not find any purple-headed love truncheons here. This blog is free of any love custard. Find a detour because the road to heaven has been closed. The bearded taco has been shaved. All a bazongas have left the blogosphere. The back-door trumpet has been silenced (thank goodness!). There will be no need to tug one's taffy or flick the bean. And, definitely, no drilling for oil. Not on this post!

Today, this erotica author shares with you words that make her giggle like a five year old.

I know the knowledge that I enjoy something so low-brow (eye-roll) will forever tarnish my otherwise classy and sophisticated (pffft) reputation, but I’ll deal.

Word #1 – Wiener

I know what you're thinking, "Wiener? Really? How juvenile." It is juvenile, I admit. And, yes. Really. Wiener. I snicker just writing the word.

According to the Urban Dictionary, the definition of wiener is "a hot dog". It's the example of the word in Wiener (notice how I throw the word wiener in as much as possible) in use that is hilarious. If you know me, and take into consideration what I write, you'll understand why I giggle.

            Wiener – a hot dog

                        Ex: "I really enjoy putting long, thick wieners in my mouth."

Yay for wieners!

Word #2 – Boobies

BOOBIES!

Boobies are great. I should know. I have a pair. I'm also the keeper of a large jar of boobie sprinkles. Isn't that right, Eden? (Eden Baylee knows all about the boobie sprinkles.)

There were many definitions on the Urban Dictionary for boobies, but the best one was this one:

            "Mystical orbs with the power to exert complete mind control over any man who witnesses their infinite beauty." – Udder truth! (LOL! Get it? Udder. Boobies. Get it?)

Seriously, this is totally true. Ladies, if you want something from the man in your life, need to win that argument, anything. All you have to do is lift your shirt and let the girls bounce free. Your man's gaze will be riveted it your "mystical orbs" and their power will turn his mind over to your control, thereby paving the way for you to get whatever your heart desires. Argument won.

You know I'm right.

Now for the funniest word – I save the best for last.

Word #3 – Dingleberry (yes, you read that correctly. Dingleberry)

According to the Urban Dictionary, the definition of a dingleberry is:

            "A smallish, semi-dry, extraordinary tenacious remnant of fecal matter which, when unwittingly rolled into a mixture with toilet paper lint by the action of wiping, becomes almost irremovably entangled among ones anal hair, a situationality exacerbated by the vigorous chafing and friction between the buttocks and most commonly remedied by the sad and almost entirely unavoidable remedy of plucking out at its root the individual hair to which each dingleberry is conjoined."

Personally, I prefer this shorter definition. It's more precise and to the point:

            "A delinquent partial turd which grasps anal shrubbery causing brownish crust to accumulate in ones boxers."

ROFLMAO!

How is that not funny?

Gross? Yes. Absolutely. But funny nonetheless.

Well that's it for me (I see some of you sighing in relief). Before I go, I want to thank Casey for letting me take over his blog today. I apologize for any kumquats that may have fallen out of my pockets (ha, ha, ha).

Okay everyone, what words make you giggle and bring out your inner child?

Bio:

Like most authors, Casey Sheridan began writing when she was very young. It was later in life when she read her first piece of erotica and it was on a dare that she wrote her first erotic story.

Casey enjoys writing erotica that is sensual and fun with unique storylines.

You can find Casey's books through Breathless Press and Amazon. Her short erotic fiction is published on various erotic web­sites such as The Erotic Woman.

Her title, Ruby Red Metallic, was an EPIC eBook Awards 2012 Finalist.

An introvert by nature, Casey is happiest when writing. She also enjoys spending time with close friends, listening to music, watching movies, and reading. She loves animals, and volunteers to care for a local feral/outdoor cat colony.

Find her on the Web:

Website – Blog – Facebook – Twitter (@CaseSheridan) – Pinterest – Amazon – Goodreads

Book Review: Organic Screenwriting: Writing for film, Naturally

Organic Screenwriting: Writing for film, Naturally by: Mark David Gerson is a free-flowing stream of consciousness and information unlike anything else I’ve seen in other books on screenwriting. Gerson takes his readers on an engaging and almost meditative journey in his approach to writing a movie.

Ideas aren’t so much conceived as they are revealed to authors. Everything from characters to plot intricacies can easily be made available but first, the storyteller must be willing to bend to the forces of the ever elusive and fluidly moving “muse stream”. Antiquated rules about what one should and should not do while composing a creative work are all but an enemy to the very creative energy a writer is trying to channel.

In an inspired line that I plan to quote often, the author states honestly “You’re a storyteller, not an engineer.”

Mark David Gerson proudly admits that he’s relatively new to the screenwriting process but, is a highly accomplished fantasy novelist and writing coach. Despite its title, this particular book has valuable lessons in it for all writers – not just those working on movies. New writers will likely develop a deeper appreciation of the importance (and inherent freedom) of getting all ideas out in the open before even giving the remotest of considerations to the editing process.

CRF Chats with Filmmaker Simon Cox

Editor’s Note: Those who follow my show and blog regularly will tell you that occasionally I’ll get involved in promoting “one more” project regardless of how busy I am just because I believe in the concept so strongly. Such was the case with writer/director Simon Cox’s compelling sci-fi yarn “Kaleidoscope Man” (currently in the crowd-funding stage). It boasts a driving plot line, stunning visuals and really talented cast of actors – all of which point to it being one hell of a movie when it’s finished.

I only found out about the project a couple of weeks ago when mutual friend Lynnaire MacDonald suggested that one of the film’s producers, Heidi Hitchcock, get in touch with me. We quickly whipped together a plan where Simon would first answer a couple of questions on my blog during the last days of the campaign and then make an appearance on my show later this summer.

That said, we offer up the following…

CJR
How were you inspired and/or how did you come up with the concept of Kaleidoscope Man?

When I first saw the original Star Wars I knew then that I wanted to make movies and that one day I would make an epic sci-fi adventure that would leave people feeling as I felt when I saw Star Wars. It wasn’t just the great special FXs and action, it was the emotional story about Luke Skywalker’s journey from farm boy to saving the universe from the galactic empire.

I spent a lot of years analyzing this magic element and why some movies leave you elated and not wanting to leave the cinema and why other did not. Kaleidoscope Man came about during this process. I really liked the idea of the ‘unwilling hero’ where a normal man who struggles with his mundane life is thrown into an adventure and ends up being the one to save the human race. 

What will you tell us about the character of Thomas Dunn and how does he become Kaleidoscope Man?

There is no caped crusader in this movie. Kaleidoscope Man is the lead character in an old TV series, which Tom watches when we meet him as a boy. This has a huge impact on the impressionable young boy and deep down all he wants from his life is to be like his hero. However, real life throws him many challenges and he finds himself unable to live up to this high expectation of himself. This, of course, makes him very unhappy and with no ending in sight, his life is going nowhere.

That is, until an alien mother-ship arrives at the planet…

What do you think the audience will take away from seeing Kaleidoscope Man and/or what would you hope they would take away?

I’m hoping they will feel elated, excited and just generally blown away. The thing is, there are a lot of movies out there and more video content than ever before. Throw in social media and people nowadays have very little time to consume things. I believe this movie will feed the soul as it touches on some very deep and moving human issues that a lot of us don’t have time to consider.

Without trying to sound pretentious, I have spent years trying to make this an event movie. Obviously, I don’t have anything near the budget of a Hollywood movie, so my time and effort has gone into the story and I am confident that it will resonate with people and capture their imaginations.

Writer/Director Simon Cox

What are some of the major challenges and what have you learned from this and past projects?

When I made my first movie, Written in Blood, I had a lot of people meddling with the story and the production in general. The money had come from the UK Film Industry and being slightly less experienced, I believed this input would help the film and the process of making it, even though deep down I had a sinking feeling that some of this wasn’t helping me.

The final film ended up being a compromise on what I believed was originally a strong idea and one of the lessons I learnt was that as the writer & director of a movie, you are the one left holding the baby. Therefore, I would say to anyone making their first movie, follow your gut instinct – if you’re going to mess something up, it’s better that you do it rather than let someone else do it for you.

As regards the production of Kaleidoscope Man, I have to say I am enjoying the experience immensely. The biggest challenge over the years has been trying to get the movie funded and I spent a lot of time speaking to people from the industry and private investors. This was incredibly frustrating and always ended the same way – with no movie being made. Therefore, when crowd funding came along, for me it has opened the door to fantastic film making opportunities, not just for me but all creative alike.

What is your favorite part of the film making process and why?

I love the editing of the film. Seeing sections that you have spent years dreaming about coming together and actually working is just magic. I also love the way you can build up the soundtrack with sound FXs and how each small element or subtlety you add enhances the story.

You are currently crowd-funding for your Phase 4, how are you feeling about it?

As I write this we have just under 2 weeks left of our Indiegogo campaign and to be honest, it is a little nerve-racking. On this particular campaign, we still have a long way to go to reach our target but I am optimistic. We have put an awful lot of work into engaging with our audience and providing them with lots of behind the scenes videos of the journey so far, so people really are coming on the journey with us. The last two weeks of a campaign are always the most exciting.

Do take a look: www.igg.me/at/KMan4

What is something interesting about you that you have not mentioned before?

When I was 22, I had an evening job in a pub in the Central London (I was a runner in the day for a film company and the money was terrible). One evening, Oliver Reed (one of the stars of Gladiator) came in; he was as drunk as a skunk. After a little banter behind the bar, he grabbed hold of me, pulled me close to his face and threatened to punch my light bulbs in. This was all because I had served him a drink in a glass that was a little warm. Not a pleasant experience, but one I shall be telling my grandchildren for sure! 

The Pretender: Virtual Book Tour

Editor’s Note:

Over the past several weeks, I was approached by publicist Mallory Johnson about the possibility of The Cutting Room acting as stop on a virtual book tour for authors Steven Long Mitchell and Craig W. Van Sickle.

If those names sound familiar to you, then you were probably a fan “The Pretender” – a very popular television series that they both created which ran from 1996-2000 and later spawned two TV movies.

Steven and Craig recently brought back “The Pretender” in the form of two novels called “Rebirth” and the much anticipated follow-up “Saving Luke”.

Below, the authors chat about the journey to revive the series and the reactions they got from fans. You can also look for a follow-up interview to be broadcast on my radio show in early June... CJR

Q: For those who are not familiar with the Pretender novels can you give us a brief description of the series?

SLM: Sure.Rebirth and Saving Luke are mystery thrillers about Jarod, a child prodigy, who was stolen as a child and raised by a clandestine organization that exploited his gift for their nefarious activities. After his escape, this ‘ingenious Jason Bourne,’ a human chameleon that can literally become anyone he wants to be, rejoins the world that was denied to him for 30 years. While attempting to find his own family, Jarod uses his brilliance to save a young boy kidnapped by terrorists and return him safely to his parents. 

 
CVS: Jarod does this while staying one step ahead of Miss Parker, the “sexiest woman on the planet” who is hell-bent on capturing and returning him to the organization that took him as a child. They have a multifaceted, love-hate relationship that fuels a very heated chase.

You can find out more about both novels and read sample chapters at: http://www.thepretenderlives.com/

Q: Why did you decide to bring The Pretender back at this particular point in time?

CVS: As luck and having amazing lawyers would have it, the rights to the Pretender recently reverted back to us, and we are excited to be able to bring the Pretender back now in a variety of exciting ways.

SLM: As all too often happens, when the Pretender was unexpectedly cancelled, the loyal fan base was left with a series of unanswered questions that we’d always intended to answer for them.

The fans around the globe have always been loyal to us and we’re thrilled to be able to return that faithfulness by reinventing the Pretender in a way that will give the answers they deserve, while at the same time embracing new fans, who will get the saga from a fresh perspective.

Q: Why did you bring the concept back as a novel first as opposed to another TV series?

SLM: We wanted to give the fans a much more in-depth look at the characters than we were able to explore in a television series – and also give them an opportunity to not only just read the books or passively watch the TV show, but to actively get involved and become part of the Pretender Universe, themselves. 

Steven Long Mitchell

Q: Where does the plot line pick up in terms of a timeline?

CVS: The plot line doesn’t pick up, per se, it slides. Just like in the TV pilot, Jarod is 30ish when he escapes the Centre, and so is Miss Parker as she begins her pursuit of him.

In essence, it is a brand new story with all of the intrinsic elements of the old story, updated for the modern world. 

Craig W. Van Sickle

Q: What is your strategy for retaining old fans while still attracting new ones?

SLM: All of the story elements of the original series are there with contemporary twists that allow for new fans- and old-to be equally satisfied as the mythology takes them on a thrill ride.

And there is even more to experience at http://www.thepretenderlives.com/. We’ll soon be offering interactive ways to explore the mythology, story lines, characters, and even the physical Centre itself, something no other fandom or series of novels is doing (as far was we know).

Q: I also understand that you're launching an innovative series of graphic novels in tandem with the books?

CVS:Yes. The first fleshes out the mythology of the Pretender Universe by exploring the mysterious history of the Centre.

Q: What is the most surprising piece of feedback that you've received since you've brought The Pretender back?

SLM: First, was the overwhelming support from the Pretender fandom.It is global, fervent, multi-generational, and we are proud to be a part of it.

CVS: There are so many – but one that really stands out to me is the outpouring of involvement of the fan base –something we greatly embrace. Our fans have designed the covers of the novels, some have become characters within them, we even have a winner of a fan-fiction contest writing a short story for us that we will publish as canon. We think she could be a star writer one day and are overjoyed to give her the first shot.

Q: Where can people go to keep up with the latest news around the books or graphic novels?

SLM: http://www.thepretenderlives.com/ We love corresponding with our fans and look forward to hearing from them at anytime.

CVS:Below are all of the other links to connect with us.

Connect with Steven Long Mitchell: Blog / Facebook / Twitter

Connect with Craig W Van Sickle: Blog / Facebook / Twitter

Rebirth: Amazon / Amazon UK / Smashwords / Barnes &Noble

Saving Luke: Links to follow when available